Jamie Smet

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How to Use Story Loops to Make Your Nonprofit Comms Irresistible

In this post:

  • What’s a story loop?

  • How can I use open story loops in my nonprofit marketing?

  • Specific examples for nonprofit emails.

Just one more page, I told myself. I need a solid 8 hours, so I’m ready to be up and on my yoga mat at 6 am.

Several chapters later, I was still trying to drag my eyes away from the book. If I made it up at 6 the next morning, I’d need a lot of coffee to make it through the day.


I’d been the (willing) victim of an open story loop.

(More about that book later.)

Expert writers, whether of tv, film, books, or marketing copy, rely on the open loops storytelling technique to keep us reading or watching.

  • An open story loop is why millions of viewers waited anxiously for a week wondering (and chatting at the water cooler about) who shot J.R. in 1980.

  • It’s why you can’t stop at a single episode of Tiger King.

  • It’s why you can’t turn the channel when it’s the bottom of the 9th and the teams are tied.

  • It’s why the latest Lee Child thriller will keep you up past your bedtime.

  • And it’s also the reason you can’t resist opening an email with a subject line like, “Want more donors? Don’t make these fundraising mistakes.”

What’s an open story loop?

An open story loop is a storytelling technique that actively creates questions in readers’ minds in order to keep them seeking closure.

Our brains are wired to want closure. 

Whether it’s that item on your to-do list you keep putting off or the cliffhanger at the end of the chapter, it will rumble around at the back of your brain until you resolve it.


When storytellers of any kind create a question in your mind, they’re opening a story loop. That question could be:

  • Who shot J.R.?

  • Who’s going to win the game?

  • What are the fundraising mistakes I shouldn’t make?

They’re the questions that nag at the back of your mind until your brain is able to close the loop by watching the next episode, finishing the game, reading the email. 

Opening a story loop doesn’t necessarily mean you’re telling a narrative with a beginning, middle, and end. It can be as simple as raising a question or a sense of curiosity in your readers’ minds. You’re creating a need for closure. 

You probably know what “clickbait” is - those irresistible headlines begging for your attention: 

  • These Hollywood stars have had the most “work” done.

  • I thought I could never lose weight, but then I found this.

  • Remember this celeb? Sit down before you see what she looks like now.

They’re the extreme example of this concept. Two seconds before you had no thought of celebrities and plastic surgery, but suddenly now it’s ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT.

You can find ways to do a similar (if less dramatic) thing for your nonprofit without being gross and spammy, I promise. The most literary of authors and screenwriters do it without being obnoxious, and so can you. 


How can I use story loops for my nonprofit marketing?

Effective marketers and communicators use story loops to keep busy, distracted readers and listeners engaged. You can do this with anything you write - website copy, blogs, social media, email. 

I’m going to focus below on a few specific ways you can work story loops into your email copy.

1. Subject Line:

Here are some examples of subject lines that make it hard to ignore (with an explanation of why it’s a story loop):

  1. You won’t believe how many meals we served last month.

    (How many? This question needs an answer and creates other questions in my mind: did they serve more meals than usual? Less?)

  2. This mom’s story broke our hearts.

    (What story? Why did it break their hearts?)

  3. A simple way you can help kids this Christmas.

    (How can I help? Is it really simple?)

2. Email body:

Start a narrative featuring a real person at the beginning of your email, then take a break from the story to insert the key info you want to share before coming back to finish your story. Like this:

Dear (DONOR),

Last week, a young mom showed up in our offices desperate for help. Anita was feeling alone and overwhelmed. Not only had she lost her job at the start of the pandemic, but a fire in her apartment complex left her and her two young children without stable housing. They were living in a crowded, noisy home with relatives, and Anita was struggling to figure out how to find new housing and a new job. Her kids were struggling to keep up with school work in their new environment. With resources as tight as they are right now, we didn’t know if we could help.

(At this point, press pause on the story to share the facts and info you want to convey about your “tight resources.” Keep it simple and clear. After you’re shared that in a paragraph or two, return to your story.)

We decided to pair Anita up with a housing counselor, not sure if we’d be able to come through for her. But because of generous donors like you, we were able to help her and her kids find a clean, quiet apartment. We partnered with (PARTNER ORG0 to make sure her kids had everything they needed for virtual schooling. Anita had two job interviews last week and recently told us, “I’m feeling more hopeful than I have in months. Thank you.”

End the email by making a clear ASK.

3. Postscript: 

If a recipient reads nothing else in your email, they’ll still probably read the P.S. (Start paying attention, and you’ll notice this is true of yourself!)

Use a postscript to open a story loop by previewing what’s coming in the next email or in your social feeds. But don’t give it away. Create some suspense and interest.

Examples:

  • P.S. One of our volunteers had a life-changing experience during her monthly food drive shift. Key an eye on your inbox for the full story later this week.

  • P.S. The latest research suggests a crazy simple remedy to combat illiteracy is within reach. Can  you guess what it is? We’ll have the details on our Facebook page tomorrow!

Once you start looking for story loops, you’ll see them everywhere.

Start paying attention to the story loops around you, and find natural ways to include this technique in your own nonprofit communications.

(Oh, and about that book that kept me up: A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles. Since the main character is a man on house arrest in a Moscow hotel for decades, this was the perfect read for the start of the COVID19 era. Here’s hoping our time on lockdown is much, much shorter than Count Rostov’s!)

You might also like:

How to Boost Your Clicks with a Snappy Title

12 Quick Ways to Boost Your Next Nonprofit Email

Need help keeping your donors’ attention?